


Timeless and True

by flootiger



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Humour, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:33:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho and Jaejoong have a timeless love, a true love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Timeless and True

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been a while since I wrote... anything of any substance. YunJae are so dear to me so I thought it was about time I wrote anything other than a little drabble here and there. This is a shaky one, I'm way way out of practice but I hope you can enjoy a tiny bit. All my love to anyone who reads/comments/leaves some love. Thank you one and all!

**Timeless and True**

The first time Jaejoong saw Yunho he laughed. Fuzzy hair and a bright blue tragedy that was his outfit elicited a shameless eruption of giggles aimed at Yunho and his unfortunate eye for style. As Yunho tilted his head in confusion Jae nearly doubled over at the hilarity of the eager teen.

 

“Are you auditioning, too?”

 

Jaejoong looked up, so startled at this boy’s inability to embarrass that he forgot to laugh.

 

Yunho smiled brightly and Jaejoong hated how his heart sped up a fraction.

 

“Yes,” he said shortly.

 

“I’m Jung Yunho,” Yunho said, still smiling.

 

“Okay,” Jaejoong said standoffishly, stepping back from Yunho to lean against the wall as they waited in line. He lifted a hand to bite at his nail, ripping off a lose tag and refusing to pay any more attention to the riotously unfashionable boy. Yunho didn’t leave, however, instead sticking his hands in his pockets and observing a haughty Jaejoong genially.

 

“Maybe we’ll end up in the same group,” Yunho said.

 

Jaejoong’s eyes snapped back to Yunho. “I doubt it.”

 

“Why, because you’re prettier than me?”

 

Jaejoong glared at the boy. “I’m not pretty.”

 

Yunho laughed and Jaejoong felt a fiery blaze bleed into his cheeks. It was frustrating that he was blushing when Yunho hadn’t so much as lowered his eyes in embarrassment when Jaejoong had outright mocked him and his ridiculous outfit. This asinine trollop was upstaging Jaejoong.

 

“I can dance pretty well,” Yunho said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

 

Jaejoong snorted. “Everyone here can dance ‘pretty well’.”

 

Yunho laughed. “I suppose you’re right. I dance really well, then.”

 

“I sing like an angel,” Jaejoong admitted. “So they keep telling me.”

 

Yunho grinned and Jaejoong couldn’t help but offer a small smile in return. There was something about this boy that warmed Jaejoong’s icy exterior.

 

“I bet you do,” Yunho said.

 

Jaejoong glared once again at the boy and felt his prickly nature return unabashedly. What was Yunho insinuating? “What’s that supposed to mean?” He demanded.

 

Yunho raised both his hands in surrender. “Nothing at all, just that I bet you do sing well.”

 

Jaejoong folded his arms across his chest and stuck his hip out irritably. “I should practice,” he said by way of dismissal. Jaejoong needed this boy disrupting his precious pre-audition ritual no more than he needed a punch in the face.

 

Yunho departed, but as he left he looked over his shoulder and winked at Jaejoong. “Good luck.”

 

Spluttering indignantly or cursing Yunho out would have been considered bad form amongst a crowded room of fellow auditionees so all Jaejoong could do was seethe silently at the retreating back of the boy who, despite Jaejoong’s best efforts at rebuttal, had made his knees weak.

 

~~~~

The first time Jaejoong performed with Yunho was with Four Seasons. He, Yunho and two other boys had been selected to debut as a quartet next month which meant a brutal regime of pre-sunrise vocal training and moonlit dance practices.  

 

Sweat flew from his hair as he twisted, twirled, span, leapt and flew around the studio in time with the music that was blaring from a boom box on the floor.

 

Sideways, he kept shooting glances at Yunho, urging his own body to keep up with the star dancer of their group. He, Kangin and Heechul were good – and getting better – but Yunho was amazing. Jaejoong frowned to himself as he dropped to the floor in a crouch as the song ended. He wanted to be as magnificent as Jung Yunho was.

 

“Stop frowning, Jae,” Heechul called from the opposite side of the room. “You’ll get wrinkles.”

 

Jaejoong threw Heechul a vicious look that Heechul only laughed at, springing up and tugging Kangin up with him to get some water.

 

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you,” Jaejoong spat.

 

“You won’t be blessed with your looks forever,” Heechul chirped. “Besides, I have no reason to be jealous.” Heechul preened. “I’m every bit as pretty as you are, more so in fact. You have too much of that I’m-better-the-rest-of-mankind look going on.”

 

Jaejoong lunged, angered by his friend’s daring. “You fucke— ack!” Strong arms had come around his waist and tugged him back to the floor with a thud.

 

“What?—ah, Yunho let me go!” Jaejoong squirmed, unable to escape Yunho’s gorilla grip as the other boy chuckled, falling back onto the floor and tugging Jae with him. This definitely did not sit well with Jae, who fervently wanted to show Heechul a piece of his mind... and his fist.

 

“You should learn to control your temper,” Yunho warned. “It’ll only get you in trouble with the bigwigs.”

 

Jaejoong struggled against Yunho’s arms. “Yunho let _go_ of me! I swear I will give you a black eye!”

 

“No you won’t,” Yunho said. Jaejoong could almost hear the smirk in Yunho’s voice.

 

He stopped moving. “You frustrate me so much!” Jaejoong said crossly.

 

Yunho pinched his side, rolling Jaejoong off him and onto the studio floor. “I know.”

 

Jaejoong tilted his head to watch Yunho with a pout. Yunho was both the best thing and the worst that had ever happened to Jaejoong. It terrified him how much he craved every ounce of Yunho’s attention, how precisely Yunho knew how to wind him up as tight as a coil and then calm him right back down after only a few short months of knowing each other.

 

Yunho smiled and brought two fingers up to gently touch Jaejoong’s lower lip.  Jaejoong’s doe eyes widened. What was Yunho doing? The touch was too intimate and it made Jaejoong’s insides burn.

 

“You wouldn’t know what to do without me though,” Yunho said softly.

 

Heechul and Kangin guffawed loudly and Jaejoong shot up into a sitting position. “What are you two cretins laughing at?”

 

Heechul sashayed out the room. “Just what a cruel game destiny can play.”

 

Jaejoong stared after them, his fists balled up. “What the hell is he talking about?”

 

“Heechul is just messing with you, you know how he is.”

 

“Well he’s going to regret messing with me,” Jaejoong vowed, standing and stalking out the studio door to seek the brat.

 

Yunho remained on the floor and groaned, “How are we ever going to debut?”

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong was introduced to Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin he was overcome with such a fierce jealousy that Junsu had remained practically mute.

 

“Isn’t that right? Right, Junsu?” Yoochun was giving Junsu an odd look, and Changmin nudged the older boy as though trying to coax him into action.

 

Junsu nodded his head, his eyes flicking over to Yunho politely and then back to Jaejoong.

 

Jaejoong knew he was rendering this boy virtually speechless but such a strong bout possessiveness was consuming him that he was seeing green. Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin had entered their lives so abruptly and now Jaejoong was being forced to share Yunho with the three of them. A part of Jaejoong was scared; he had never aimed such green eyes at Heechul and Kangin so why was he feeling like the three boys before him posed such a threat?

 

“Jae,” Yunho said firmly.

 

“What?” Jaejoong’s icy glare left Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin the instant Yunho spoke his name.

 

“Let go of me and play nice,” Yunho admonished.

 

“I am playing nice,” Jaejoong said, not letting go of Yunho’s arm that Jae was wound tightly around. His fingers tightened their grip on Yunho’s hand but Yunho didn’t return the squeeze. Jae was alarmed, usually Yunho was just as tactile as Jaejoong, more so in fact.

 

“Jae, come on,” Yunho said, looking at Jae with thorough disapproval.

 

“He is not normally like this,” Yunho assured the other three, then laughed awkwardly. “Well, he can be a bit of bitch.”

 

The words caused Jaejoong’s grip to slacken instantly as he glared daggers into the side of Yunho’s head. “I am not a bitch.”

 

Yunho did not turn to face him and Jaejoong tried not to bristle too much. “He is, but you’ll get used to it. And he will learn to share.”

 

“Yunho!” Jae spluttered.

 

The boy named Yoochun laughed and Changmin gave Jae such a disdainful look that Jae almost withered. These two would be hard work. Jae turned his searing eyes on Junsu, who quickly moved half a step behind Yoochun. He smirked, showing his teeth and moving back to hold Yunho’s arm with both of his.

 

“Okay boys, the director is ready for you now!” A runner poked her head into the room, a clipboard in hand and an earpiece flashing blue.

 

Jaejoong let go of Yunho’s hand and grinned predatorily at Junsu. Perhaps if he chased one of them off, he’d drag the other two with him and together they could crawl back to whatever hole they’d emerged from, leaving he and Yunho in peace.

 

He was just about to loop his arm around the wary looking Junsu when something yanked him back by his collar.

  
“Aurgh!” Jae choked as he stumbled back a step and was forcibly spun round by Yunho as the other three departed after the runner. It was just the two of them and suddenly Jaejoong felt very nervous. Yunho was fixing him with a cold stare and Jaejoong shrank, immediately feeling like he was about to get severely reprimanded.

 

“Don’t you dare fuck this up,” Yunho warned.

 

“I wasn’t doing anything,” Jae denied, hiding behind his bangs and refusing to look at Yunho. This was _not_ the kind of attention he had been vying for moments ago.

 

“Don’t pull the innocent card. I know exactly what you were doing, and so do you,” Yunho said, folding his arms.

 

“I wasn’t—”

 

“Four Seasons fell through and I thought it was all over,” Yunho said, his voice low. “Don’t take this from me. Don’t take this away from us both. You will only end up hurting yourself.”

 

Jaejoong didn’t like the threat behind Yunho’s words. He shrugged petulantly. “I don’t see why we can’t debut just the two of us.”

 

“It doesn’t work like that and you know it,” Yunho said. “We don’t get to call the shots.”

 

“Yunho, I don’t like them!” Jaejoong burst out, throwing his hands in the air.

 

Yunho frowned but reached for Jae’s hand, holding it in his two. “You will, we will become brothers.”

 

Jaejoong’s expression didn’t lighten. He sighed shakily and voiced his real concern; “They will take you away from me.”

 

Yunho was silent but Jaejoong finally felt the squeeze of his hand he had been denied earlier. “Jae,” Yunho said softly. Jae looked at him.

 

“You have to know that won’t happen,” Jaejoong searched Yunho’s face. It was open and honest and Jaejoong nodded, believing him. Nothing would part him from Yunho. Not even bratty new band members.

 

Yunho smiled and gave Jaejoong’s hand one last squeeze before letting go and moving to the ajar door, holding it for Jaejoong.

 

“Good. Now go show them how nice you can be,” Yunho said. “That poor Junsu looked like he was about to wet himself.”

 

Jae snorted and stalked from the room, throwing a pouty smile over his shoulder at Yunho as he went.

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong realised he was in love, Yunho was lying in a hospital bed.

 

“You know, the food here is as depressing as the colour of the walls,” Yunho said, eyeing Jae from his position propped up against several fluffy pillows.

 

Jaejoong narrowed his eyes. “Are you hinting at something?”

 

Yunho smiled happily. “I’m hinting that you should bring me some of your delicious home cooked food.”

 

Jaejoong shook his head. “You heard the doctors, no solids.”

 

“You could make me some soup,” Yunho wheedled, making grabby hands at Jaejoong.

 

For once, Jaejoong did not yield to Yunho’s request, instead hovering half way between the hospital room door and Yunho’s bed. Earlier that day Yunho had taken a nasty fall during dance practice; an attempted back flip gone horribly wrong. One moment Yunho had been propelling midair and the next he’d landed with a heart-stopping thud and not gotten up.

 

Jaejoong’s whole world had stopped.

 

He had felt like a ton of bricks had landed upon his chest as Yunho lay suddenly, terrifyingly, motionless while a pool of blood seeped from his head. Jaejoong’s first thought was that Yunho was dead, he was gone and that would be it for him, too. Jaejoong knew with all his heart that he couldn’t live a day on this planet without Yunho by his side. Frozen with fear, Jae had felt his knees weaken.

 

 It had been Yoochun who sprung into action first, surging forward to try and revive his fallen Hyung. Changmin and Junsu had quickly followed suit, Changmin yelling at Jaejoong to get someone.

 

Changmin’s shout had snapped Jae from his nightmare and he’d dashed from the room, tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

Now, he stood still once more, unable to answer Yunho’s needy beckons. He had been as useful as a baby in a maths exam and because of his inaction perhaps Yunho _would_ have died. It had been Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin who had saved their leader, while Jae failed his beloved Yunho. Jae, who loved Yunho more than anyone.  

 

Fresh tears leaked down Jaejoong’s cheeks as he stared at Yunho.

 

“Jae,” Yunho said softly. “Please come here. What’s wrong?”

 

Jae just shook his head.

 

“There’s room for two, if I scooch up a bit,” Yunho said as he tried shifting his weight over to one side of the narrow bed. The movement caused Yunho to pale and wince in blatant pain.

 

Alarmed, Jaejoong rushed to him, pushing Yunho gently back into his pillows. “You are not going anywhere.”

 

Yunho’s smiling eyes met Jaejoong’s wide ones. “There you are.”

 

Jaejoong nodded, sniffling as he smoothed Yunho’s pillows. His hands danced over Yunho feather light as they inspected for any sign that Yunho was hurt or uncomfortable.

 

“Don’t be sad,” Yunho said. “I’m fine. It was just a fall.”

 

Jaejoong’s eyes widened as he knelt beside Yunho’s bed and took his hand in both of his. “Yunho... I... you... I don’t... what if you had... I lov—”

 

Yunho hushed him soothingly and used his free hand to card his fingers through Jaejoong’s hair. “I know, okay? It’s okay.”

 

Jaejoong nodded, thinking that it wasn’t really okay.

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong and Yunho went on a date, Yunho denied it vehemently.

 

“I’m not denying anything! You know I love you so why do you keep demanding more?”

 

“Because you want more, too!” Jaejoong shouted across the room. He’d thrown the empty dishes in the sink so hard he’d heard them shatter against the metal. The remnants of the meal he’d cooked Yunho spilling into the murky water.

 

“Jae, you are delusional! I don’t know what you think I can give you but a date is not it!” Yunho had stood from the table now.

 

“You are the delusional one! You are denying us both something that could be so great!”

 

“What we already have is great!” Yunho spat. “Stop trying to taint it with whatever sick fantasies you have been harbouring.”

 

“Yunho, you can’t say that,” Jaejoong gasped, hurt by Yunho’s words. “How many times have you let me in your bed? How many times have you held me, touched me in ways I know you are not trying to write off as skinship?!”

 

“It’s not like that,” Yunho shook his head, at a loss. “I just... I’m tactile, you know this.”

 

“If my fantasies are sick then you have only fuelled them,” Jaejoong’s voice was rising once more, growing shriller as Yunho’s denial cut deep. “You have never denied me... until now. If I am so disgusting then why didn’t you push me away sooner?”

 

Yunho looked down. “I know, I’m sorry.” He looked up again. “You don’t make this easy, Jae. You are always _there,_ you are always so soft and willing and... I always did think you were pretty.”

 

Jaejoong’s mind flew back to his very first encounter with Yunho when he’d popped into his life in a flurry of tacky tracksuit and called him pretty, much to Jaejoong’s chagrin. “Can you hear yourself? Can you hear how you are feeding me, even now when you have the audacity to deny how you really feel about me?”

 

“Jaejoong, please,” Yunho sounded desperate. He was moving around the table towards Jaejoong but Jaejoong only shook his head, backing up until he hit the sink.

 

“You are an asshole. You should leave.”

 

“No, I think we need to talk about this,” Yunho was reaching for Jaejoong.

 

“Don’t touch me,” Jaejoong hissed. “You will only fuel my sick fantasies, remember?”

 

Yunho retracted his hand as though burned. Jaejoong felt a hot spike of satisfaction as he saw Yunho’s face flinch and then crumple.

 

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Yunho looked at Jaejoong sadly. “I’m sorry, Jae, I really am.”

 

“Don’t be, I will be fine,” Jaejoong spat. “I will go see if Yoochun is interested. The fans love JaeChun almost as much as they love YunJae.”

 

Yunho cringed as though physically struck. “Don’t.”

 

“Go,” was Jae’s only response.

 

As soon as Yunho left Jaejoong swore loudly and punched the fridge.

 

~~~~

 

The first time Yunho told Jaejoong he was in love with him, Jaejoong was taken completely by surprise.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not saying it again.”

 

“Yes you bloody well are,” Jaejoong stormed back across the green room, the open door that led to the rest of backstage – and their concert – forgotten.

 

Changmin cast an alarmed glance over his shoulder as he heard his band mate return to the green room in pursuit of their leader. “Jae, Yunho... the concert?? Our thousands of adoring fans? Our five or so managers we’re about to severely piss off?”

 

“That’s Hyung to your smart-arse,” Jae shot back without so much as a look over his shoulder at Changmin.

 

Jaejoong reached Yunho who was standing slightly awkwardly by a rack full of their stage outfits. “Say it again,” Jae growled.

 

“Jae...” Yunho twisted his hands together and looked at the ground. “You already know it. You were right... I was denying—”

 

But Jae held up his hands. “I don’t care about your excuses, I don’t care about your apologies. I want to hear you say it again.”

 

Yunho signed, looking rather resigned. Jaejoong would have felt ashamed, even insecure if it had been anyone else but Yunho in this situation. Jaejoong knew Yunho too well. It had been five long weeks since they’d confronted each other in the kitchen after Jaejoong had cooked them dinner for their date (Jaejoong would call it nothing but a date because it _had_ been a date and Yunho very well knew it). Yunho had heartlessly ignored Jaejoong for days until Jaejoong had blown up in Junsu’s face and finally Yunho had to acknowledge him like the good leader he was.

 

Things had improved but Yunho would barely touch Jaejoong and Jaejoong knew why; he was afraid of feeding Jaejoong’s torrid desires.   
  
But now.... Jae couldn’t believe it, he had to hear Yunho say it again. His heart was racing and his palms were sweaty.

 

Their eyes met and slowly Yunho reached up to cup Jae’s cheeks with both hands. His thumbs smoothed over the glitter the make-up Noonas had plastered on and then Yunho was kissing him, their lips brushing gently at first, before they both gave in to what they had wanted, needed, for so long.

 

“Um...”

 

Jaejoong pulled away and span round to see an embarrassed looking Changmin standing in the doorway.

 

“Changmin!” Yunho said loudly. “Oh, your poor innocent eyes! I’m so sorry. We can explain... I can explain.”

 

Changmin looked awkward but smiled hesitantly. “I’ve seen worse. Living with Yoochun has corrupted me.”

 

Jaejoong laughed. “Well you won’t mind that Yunho and I corrupt you a little more then.”

 

“As long as you do it quietly,” Changmin frowned at Jae.

 

“We won’t be doing any corrupting,” Yunho said quickly.

 

Jaejoong whirled back to Yunho to glare fiercely at him. “Like hell we won’t. Yunho I—”

 

“We can talk about this after the concert. If I have any authority left as your leader I will at least get you both up on that stage.”

 

“Yunho if you are going to deny me after what I _know_ you just said I promise you I will—”

 

“Jae! Stage, now!” Yunho ordered.

 

Changmin rolled his eyes and hurried off. Yunho had almost made it out the door when Jae grabbed his arm.

 

“Yunho,” he said in a low voice. “I think you are forgetting something.”

 

Jae watched as Yunho twisted to look at him. He sighed then blurted, “I’minlovewithyouokayseeyouonstage.”

 

Jaejoong roared furiously as Yunho pelted off down the backstage corridor after the maknae.

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong realised he truly had found a brother in Yoochun, Yoochun told him that he knew.

 

“I know, y’know.”

 

Jaejoong looked up from the bulgogi he’d been cooking. “What? What do you know?”

 

“About you and Yunho.”

 

Yoochun’s expression was impassive. The laptop he had on the table was casting a blue glow over his features and Jaejoong narrowed his eyes.

 

“What do you... _think_ you know about me and Yunho?”

 

“Jae,” Yoochun sighed. “Don’t make me say it. And I don’t _think_ anything, I know it.”

 

“How long have you known?” Jaejoong turned back to his bulgogi, unable to look at Yoochun. He was terrified of Yoochun’s reaction. Would he treat he and Yunho the same? Would he even look at them in the same way? Jaejoong realised how much he’d come to love and value Yoochun and the thought of losing his friendship was crippling to him.

 

“I’ve known since we first met you,” Yoochun said, his voice sounding somewhat reconciled. He chuckled softly. “You wouldn’t let go of Yunho’s arm and I swear, if looks could kill Junsu would have been a pile of lifeless limbs on the floor.”

 

Jaejoong smiled at the memory. How Yunho had been right, Jaejoong had grown to love them all like brothers. He told Yoochun this.

 

“The feeling is mutual,” Yoochun said. “Which is why... you know.... it’s okay that you and Yunho are...”

 

Jaejoong turned around in time to see Yoochun gesticulating and pulling a mildly disgusted look.

 

He laughed, skipping across the room to embrace his friend.

 

“It’s okay, I won’t make you say it,” he said as he hugged Yoochun around the shoulders from behind. “Changmin thinks you corrupted him, but really you are as innocent as a lamb.”

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong had sex, Junsu had nearly quit the band.

 

“Oh my god,” Yunho moaned. “I can’t believe you’re letting me do this.”

 

Jaejoong was on his back, his legs spread and his cheeks flushed. Yunho’s cock was pushing into him and his hands were on his thighs, holding him against the bed.

 

It hurt, but Jaejoong could handle it. The pain was nothing to the love radiating from his whole being. Finally, he and Yunho were becoming one and Jaejoong felt like nothing was more right than this. He thought back to Heechul’s words... _“...what a cruel game destiny can play.”_

 

But nothing was cruel about this. Jaejoong knew he and Yunho were meant to be together and whatever games destiny was playing, they were anything but cruel.

 

“Jaejoong... ah!.. you are... so tight,” Yunho gasped. “This feels so good... _you_ feel so good.”

 

Jae nodded frantically, closing his eyes and tilting his head back into the pillows. “I love this, I love you. Yunho— nggh, I love you so much.”

 

“I know, I know,” Yunho chanted as he began thrusting slowly in and out of Jaejoong’s scorching heat. “I love yo—“

 

“ _Oh my GOD!! I swear I am quitting the band!”_

 

Jaejoong felt Yunho still at the sound of someone screeching from the doorway of the hotel room and then pull out so fast the movement shot pain through Jaejoong’s lower back. “Ow, Yunho!”

 

“Junsu!” Yunho was scrambling off the bed.

 

“Jaejoong!” Jae corrected. “You absolute fucker.”

 

“Not you,” Yunho looked at Jae with hysteria in his eyes as he searched for something to put on. “That was Junsu, Junsu saw us...I can’t believe... this is worse than when Changmin saw us kissing.”

 

Jae paled. Junsu, their most pure and innocent member had walked in on them.... “Oh god,” he groaned.

 

He realised then that Yunho was hurrying toward the door. “Where are you going??”

 

“To try and sort this out,” Yunho said, not looking back.

 

“Yunho!” Jae stood, not even bothering to put clothes on as he padded across the hotel room on quick feet. “What are you going to say? Can’t.... can’t we just hide for tonight?” He couldn’t face Junsu, not now when the horror was so fresh for them all.

 

“Jae! I am his leader and you are his Hyung! We need to put this right!”

 

Jae reached the door.

 

“NO!” Yunho roared, shoving Jaejoong back into the room. He followed him in, slamming the door. “Are you insane?” He hissed, covering Jae’s mouth with his palm. “We have an entire squadron of security out there and Junsu does _not_ need your naked ass trying to comfort him.”

 

Yunho removed his hand and turned away again. Jaejoong blurted out, “Don’t leave me.”

 

Yunho stopped and returned to Jae’s side, reaching up to hold his face with both hands. “Jaejoong, no... that is not happening, not now, not ever. I love you, okay? I love you.”

 

Yunho kissed Jae and when he pulled back his eyes were wide and desperate. “Jaejoong, please. Let me go after him. He needs me.”

 

Jaejoong nodded, watching with sad eyes as Yunho left the room.

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong had been threatened, it had been by Yunho’s father.

 

“You... just... you just stay away from him.”

 

“And how do you propose I do that? We are in the same group, we live together, we dance together, we sing together.” Jaejoong wanted to say “we sleep together” but he didn’t think Yunho would appreciate it if he gave his father an aneurysm.

 

“You disgust me,” Yunho’s father spat.

 

“And you disgust me,” Jaejoong retorted. He stood his ground, refusing to be pushed into a corner by Yunho’s homophobic father.

 

Yunho was in his dining room, busy catching up with his mother and Ji-Hye. They had three days off and Yunho had insisted Jae come home with him for at least two of them. Reluctantly, Jae had agreed. Countless visits to Yunho’s home meant Jaejoong was comfortable enough, he was actually rather fond of Mrs Jung and Yunho’s sister and more often than not, Mr Jung was away on business... only this time Yunho’s father had been home.   

 

The moment Jaejoong had excused himself from the dinner table to go to the loo, Mr Jung had stood and followed Jae from the room.

 

Jaejoong had practically felt the tension ooze from Yunho but he didn’t look back, feigning ignorance.

 

Now, he stood in the Jung’s hallway, Yunho’s father standing opposite with his hands clenched by his sides.

 

“This is wrong, so wrong,” Mr Jung said, his face red with anger and disapproval. “You have corrupted my son. He would never be this way if it wasn’t for you.”

 

“Mr Jung,” Jaejoong closed his eyes momentarily. “I love your son and he loves me. I don’t know if he would be with a man if I hadn’t come into his life. But that doesn’t change the fact that he _is_ with me. I will not apologise for our feelings.”

 

“Yunho is a respectable man!” Mr Jung’s voice was rising angrily. “He has a big heart and you have taken his love for granted and twisted it into something evil!”

 

“I have done nothing but return his love for me!” Jaejoong cried. “There is no evil in that!”

 

“Evil is exactly what you are!” Mr Jung shouted. “I cannot bear the thought of my son... I cannot bear the thought of you being in his life! You are dark, sick and twisted and I—”

 

“ _Dad_!” Yunho bellowed.

 

Jaejoong’s eyes flew to his lover who stood stationary by the doorway.

 

“Yunho, my son,” Mr Jung turned to his son, a beseeching expression replacing the look of utter abhorrence. “I am trying to make Jaejoong see reason.”

 

“Don’t talk to me,” Yunho walked straight past his father to Jaejoong’s side. Jae felt Yunho’s hand enclose his own and his heart warmed. “We’re leaving, go get our stuff, Jae.”

 

Without needing any further prompt, Jaejoong dashed up the stairs to grab his and Yunho’s bags, still zipped up and sitting on the floor of Yunho’s old bedroom.

 

When he returned Mrs Jung and Ji-Hye had joined Yunho and his father in the hallway.

 

“But where will you go? Please stay, Yunho, you get so little time off,” Mrs Jung was saying.

 

Jaejoong caught Ji-Hye’s eye as he reached the bottom of the stairs. She looked apologetically at him and mouthed “ _asshole”_ while nudging her chin at her father. Jaejoong grimaced and nodded.

 

“I’m sorry, Mum,” Yunho said, clasping his mother’s hands in his own. “I know I’m a terrible son. We’ll go to Jae’s parents and I promise to call every day.”

 

Mrs Jung sighed, but knew she would not sway her stubborn son. Just as she would not sway her stubborn husband.

 

“Look after each other,” she said, looking first at Yunho and then Jaejoong.

 

Jaejoong nodded. “I will,” he vowed.

 

Yunho hugged his mother and sister and Jaejoong did the same, then they brushed past Mr Jung and departed.

 

As soon as the door shut behind them Jaejoong said. “I’m sorry I—”

 

Yunho grabbed his hand and without looking at him said, “Don’t. You are not sick or twisted, you are not evil. You are perfect and I just wish my father could see that.”

 

Jaejoong glowed, somewhat bitter sweetly as Yunho walked them to his car. As they reached it he turned to Jae with sad, tired eyes. Jaejoong wanted nothing more than to repair all the damage that caused Yunho to hurt so much. Jaejoong found being with Yunho easy, as natural as breathing. But he knew Yunho was constantly battling with what felt right, and what he considered to be right.

 

“I’m sorry,” Yunho said.

 

Jaejoong was startled. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he insisted. “It’s your asshole father who should be sorry.”

 

“He won’t ever apologise to you, so I will have to apologise for him,” Yunho said sadly.

 

Jaejoong reached both his arms around Yunho’s neck, leaning in to kiss him gently, quickly in case anyone was around and then pulled him into a warm embrace.

 

Yunho held him back, rubbing circles into the small of Jaejoong’s back. They stood, breathing each other in until Yunho exhaled loudly, kissing Jaejoong’s ear before saying. “Let’s go.”

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong went on a honeymoon, it wasn’t technically a honeymoon. A very naked Yunho was lying beside an equally naked Jae on a vast sun-lounge decked out with plush white cushions. They were on the balcony of a luxury suite in the Maldives, sunny blue skies and turquoise seas stretched out before them.

 

“I wish this honeymoon would last forever,” Jae said, humming in delight as Yunho pulled him down for a kiss.

 

“It’s not a honeymoon,” Yunho reminded him. “There were no wedding bells.”

 

Jaejoong shook his head, smiling down at his lover, “Still in denial.”

 

“I’m not denying anything,” Yunho said, also smiling.

 

“Well I might be denying you something later tonight,” Jaejoong winked.

 

Yunho growled and pulled Jaejoong’s body over his own. “This,” he grabbed a handful of Jae’s ass. “Is mine.” Yunho kissed all over Jae’s face, his cheeks, jaw, throat. A slight five o clock shadow grazed Jaejoong making him shiver.

 

“You are incredibly sexy,” Yunho said in a low voice.

 

Jaejoong purred, pulling back a fraction to look into Yunho’s eyes. “Have we graduated from pretty then?”

 

Yunho shook his head conspiratorially, “You are still pretty.”

 

Any squawk of indignance was quelled by the firm press of a kiss just as Yunho pressed two fingers inside Jae.

 

~~~~

 

The first time Jaejoong had phone sex he’d almost cried.

 

“Why didn’t we do this when we were together?” Jae heard Yunho pant over the phone

 

“Because we didn’t have to,” Jae snapped, his fist tightening around his cock. “I had you all to myself and all I needed was your cock up my ass. Yunho,” Jae whined. “I miss you, I miss feeling you fill me up and I miss feeling so stretched I’m about to rip in tw—”

 

“Jae,” Yunho said, cutting into Jaejoong’s musings. “Touch yourself, put a finger in.”

 

“No,” Jaejoong pouted. “It’s not the same.”

 

Yunho’s breathing was becoming raspier and Jaejoong knew exactly what he was imagining. “Jae, come on, do it for me.”

 

“I’m not doing anything for you,” Jaejoong said bitterly. “Not after you left me—nngh.” He squeezed his cock and slid his thumb into the slit, pressing down and crying out.

 

Yunho responded with a grunt, Jaejoong could practically hear the pleasure coming from Yunho through the phone. “I didn’t leave you, we agreed... ahh – that this would be best. We can’t still see each other.. uh- after the split. It looks wrong.”

 

“The only thing wrong about this situation is that your cock is not filling me up right now! Ahh!” Jaejoong clenched around nothing as the phantom memory of feeling Yunho inside him was brought right to the forefront of his mind. _Fuck,_ he missed Yunho.

 

“Jaejoong,” Yunho grit out. “Touch yourself. Pretend it’s me.”

 

Jae nodded, not even remembering to voice his acquiescence down the line as Yunho’s gravelly voice shot straight to his cock. He reached a moist finger down, circling his rim before slipping it inside him.

 

The feeling was intense. He cried out loudly, not even bothering to lower his voice for Yoochun and Junsu in hotel rooms either side of his own. _They_ hadn’t just given up the loves of their lives, they would have to suck it up while Jaejoong mourned in peace... and had very loud phone sex.

 

“Tell me what I’m doing,” Yunho’s voice growling in Jaejoong’s ear, the phone jammed between his the bed and his cheek as he pressed it into the mattress, struggling to control his ecstasy.

 

“You’re... you’re jacking off,” Jaejoong panted.

 

“No,” Yunho said. “Tell me what I’m doing to you.”

 

Jae whimpered. “Okay, ah!... Okay, you... you’re touching me.”

 

“How many fingers?”

 

“Just one.”

 

“I think you need more than one,” Yunho said lowly. “I’m going to put another in.”

 

“O-okay.”

 

Jae hastily thrust another finger inside his hole and curled them, just as Yunho used to do.

 

“I’m touching your spot, can you feel it, Jae?”

 

Jae bit his lip and let out a soft moan.” Yes,” he whispered hoarsely, “I can feel you.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Can you feel me?” Jaejoong wanted to know. His heart ached desperately for Yunho and he needed to know this was just as hard for the other man. “It hurts but I can feel you.”

 

“I can feel you,” Yunho’s voice was so soft Jae barely caught the words. “I’m taking my fingers out now. I’m going to fuck you.”

 

“Okay,” Jaejoong nodded frantically, his breath coming in little gasps as his hand worked his cock and a third finger pushed past his rim. “God Yunho, you are so big.”

 

“You are so tight,” Yunho rasped. “Always so... nggh- tight.”

 

“Fuck me,” Jaejoong whispered. “Fuck me, Yunho, ahh... nggh...make love to me.”

 

He heard Yunho come with a muffled cry and with one last clench Jaejoong exploded, his hands becoming sticky and wet.

 

His whole body shook as he came down from his high, twitching from his orgasm. He rolled over, coming up short when he realised Yunho was not there to scoop him up in his arms and clean him up. This was so wrong.  He felt almost dirty.

 

“Yunho, why aren’t you here?” Jaejoong’s voice shook with emotion as he curled in on himself.

 

He heard Yunho exhale. “It’s for the best.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Jaejoong couldn’t bare those words. How was this for the best? His most joyful years were spent with Yunho and now they had come to an end. For how long? Jaejoong was filled with dread every time he pondered the next time he would get to see his Yunho. This was unlike the times when he had to remain in the recording studio for a week while Yunho promoted DBSK, this was different from the times they’d spend apart when Yunho had broken his ankle, worse than spending weeks apart while Jaejoong filmed his dramas back to back. There was no countdown because there was no end to this separation.

 

“I’m sorry,” Yunho said.

 

There was a pause.

 

Then Yunho said gently. “I’m holding you now, can you feel me?”

 

Jaejoong squeezed his eyes shut and let out a dry sob. “Yunho...”

 

“Jaejoong,” Yunho’s voice cracked.

 

Jaejoong fell asleep trying not to cry, cradling his phone to his cheek and trying so hard to pretend he was wrapped in Yunho’s arms and not the starchy cotton of hotel bed sheets.

 

~~~~

 

The last time Jaejoong had seen Yunho in person, it had been an accident.

 

“Jae, come here a sec,” Yoochun’s voice was slightly panicky.

 

“What?” Jae continued to walk toward the glass doors that led into a different section of the radio station. He, Yoochun and Junsu had just finished an interview promoting their upcoming album and were preparing to depart for the next junket on today’s agenda. It had been a long, long few years and Jaejoong was beginning to wonder how much he had left in him.

 

“Jae, I really think you need to take a look at this,” Junsu’s voice chimed in and he hurried up to tug on his Hyung’s sleeve.

 

Jae really couldn’t be bothered. He looked ahead, through the glass doors and stopped.

 

His heart hammered in his chest and his throat constricted. He thought he might throw up.

 

“Yunho...” he whispered.

 

“Jae... come on,” Yoochun had wrapped an arm around his shoulder and was trying to lead him away. “We didn’t want you to see.”

 

Yunho was standing on the other side of the doors, his own eyes widening as Changmin wrapped an arm around him, much like Yoochun was doing for Jae.

 

“I want—”

 

“No,” Junsu said. “Not a good idea.”

 

Changmin proffered a small smile at the three of them before tugging Yunho away. Yunho went obligingly, not even sparing his old members another look.

 

“Yunho,” Jae’s voice cracked.

 

“We need to leave,” Yoochun said, still trying to get Jae to move. Security was milling around tensely and a manager was yelling something about improper planning down his phone. Jaejoong knew he wasn’t supposed to see Yunho. They’d agreed.

 

Everything had dried up over the last few years. Phone calls had stopped, the odd email dwindled to nothing, Yunho didn’t even send Jaejoong a Christmas text this year. This was Yunho’s way of dealing with their separation, he was probably eager to move on and leave behind what they couldn’t have any more. But Jaejoong couldn’t move on, he needed Yunho in his life in order to function. Yunho’s coping mechanism had completely broken Jaejoong.

 

Yunho was gone, Jaejoong reminded himself.

 

His legs crumpled.

 

Yoochun and Junsu caught him just before he hit the floor.

 

~~~~

 

The last time Jaejoong saw Yunho on the television, he had been announcing his retirement as an idol.

 

Jaejoong cast a dull look over to the flickering screen as the TV presenter wrapped up a segment on the official end of TVXQ. A few fans wept as they were asked about what it meant to them to see their two beloved idols end their dazzling career. Jaejoong tuned out, instead switching his attention to YoYo.

 

The cat purred and he smiled, enjoying her company. Yoochun, Junsu and a few of their Japanese friends were coming round later for some of Jaejoong’s cooking and he was looking forward to their arrival. Sometimes, when it got too peaceful in his Seoul apartment, Jaejoong got too lonely.

 

It was easier, though. He had moved on, he was enjoying music again and he was even dabbling in a few different lines of the industry, eager to have somewhere to turn when his own singing career dried up.

 

The doorbell rang and Jae sprang up, YoYo hopping to the floor with a bitter meow. He opened the door laughing at his silly cat.

 

“The  first time you saw me you laughed.”

 

Jaejoong’s jaw hit his chest and he slammed the door, throwing his whole body against it in a desperate bid to block out what he had just seen.

 

“Jae! Please open up!”

 

Jaejoong was panting, his eyes roving his apartment as though searching for an escape route. What was going on?

 

“Come on, I need to see you.”

 

“And what about when I needed to see you?” Jaejoong couldn’t help but shout back through the wooden panels.

 

“I’m sorry, I wanted to see you but it was too hard. I didn’t know how. Jae please open up,” Yunho begged. “We can’t do this with a closed door between us.”

 

Jaejoong sighed, cursing his weak resolve. He had always been weak when it came to Yunho. Yunho was his Achilles heel. Slowly, he unlatched the door and swung the door wide, stepping back to allow Yunho inside.

 

The instant Yunho stepped in he shut the door with a slam, lunging for Jaejoong and running his hands through his hair, down his chest, cupping his cheek. Jaejoong could just stand there, amazed that the love of his life had returned to him.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Yunho whispered. “Will you let me?”

 

Jaejoong nodded mutely, winding his own hands into the folds of the suit jacket Yunho was wearing.

 

Their eyes locked, doe eyes looking up to Yunho’s dark ones. Slowly, as though he was afraid Jae would bolt, Yunho rested one hand on the base of Jaejoong’s back and tugged him so close their bodies touched from toe to chest. His other hand pushed Jaejoong’s bangs from his forehead, smoothing down the wayward locks before leaning in to give Jaejoong the most tender kiss he’d ever experienced.

 

Yunho’s lips were rougher than he remembered, but just as skilled, just as loving, just as perfect. Jaejoong kissed him back, sure his heart was about to explode.

 

When Yunho pulled back Jaejoong noticed he had tears leaking from his smiling eyes.

 

Jaejoong wanted to say a thousand things but he found himself unable to.

 

Yunho’s hands did not leave Jaejoong as he spoke. “You can tell me to leave and never come back, you can scream at me until your lungs are raw, you can take me to your bed and have your way with me; I don’t care what you do but I want you to know three things.”

 

Jae nodded, gripping the lapels on Yunho’s suit with both his hands.

 

“First; I am so sorry, more sorry than you will ever know. Second, I will do anything I can to get you back in my life, even if you have nothing but companionship to offer. Last, I love you, I have never loved anybody but you and I never will.”

 

Jaejoong wanted to shout and scream, to kick Yunho and banish him from ever looking at him again.

 

“You are the biggest asshole I have ever known,” he said, “Even bigger than your dad.”

 

Yunho winced, “I know, I’m so sorry.”

 

“I should throw you into the Han River.”

 

“You should,” Yunho nodded. “You have to know, I thought it would be best for both of us if I cut you out.”

 

Jaejoong growled. “I don’t want your excuses. I want you castrated!”

 

Yunho looked down in shame.

 

Jaejoong sighed, knowing where this would end up. There was no point fighting destiny. He shook his head. Heechul had been right, destiny could play a cruel game indeed. But this was a chance not everyone got. Jaejoong and Yunho were getting another go.

 

“I hate you,” he said. “But... I love you more.”

 

Yunho sagged in relief, smiling at a pouty Jaejoong.

 

“You never stood a chance,” Yunho said, kissing the corner of Jaejoong’s mouth.

 

“From the moment I saw you in that ridiculous outfit with that ridiculous hair,” Jaejoong agreed, kissing Yunho back and closing his eyes.

 

Yunho laughed and hugged Jae. The feeling of his true love all around him was intoxicating and Jaejoong held Yunho as tight as he could, never wanting to leave the other man’s embrace.

 

“We have a lot to talk about,” Yunho said when they broke apart.

 

Jae frowned. “Yoochun and Junsu are coming round any minute.”

 

Yunho shook his head. “No, I called Yoochun to cancel.”

 

Jae’s eyes widened. “You spoke to Yoochun? How did you get his number?”

 

Yunho’s expression was soft. “Silly, do you think I’d leave your fate in the hands of those CJeS criminals? Yoochun made sure to tell me how you were really doing.”

 

“That bastard!” Jae cried. “I’m going to murder him!”

 

Yunho chuckled. “Don’t, I’m rather fond of him, of you all. Changmin is excited to see you all again.”

 

“Changmin,” Jae smiled at the thought of his former maknae. “I miss him so much.”

 

“He misses all of you,” Yunho assured him. “We’re no longer tied to SME. We’re free. I’m free to be with you.”

 

The weight of Yunho being back, of the prospect of seeing Changmin again after so many years, of the five of them reunited as brothers hit Jae.

 

“Yunho, this is too much,” Jae said, his legs shaking.

 

Yunho held onto him. “I know, I know. But I couldn’t wait a day longer, not even an hour. I came straight from the press conference.” He motioned to his formal attire.

 

Jaejoong looked up into his lover’s eyes, a warmth spreading through his entire being. “Are we going to be forever this time?” He wanted to know. “Because Yunho, I don’t think I can do this if we aren’t forever.”

 

Yunho kissed Jaejoong, then again and again, assuring Jae with his actions that Yunho was back for him, back to make this work.

 

“We are forever. Destiny might play a cruel game, but we can’t fight it.”

 

Jaejoong melted into Yunho’s arms, holding on for dear life. Holding on forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again for reading :)


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